"We all set for the Super Bowl commercial?"
The year is 1993 and no one inside the Barbasol offices carries a cell phone. The office building is 10 stories tall and shaped like a can of Barbasol shaving cream, same paint design and everything. The top two floors -- painted blue like the lid -- hold the executive offices. Any meeting up there is referred to as a "lid-level" meeting.
Today's high stakes meeting: Planning the Super Bowl ad. The project is being led by Kyle Johnson. This is Johnson's first time in a lid-level meeting, and he has the armpit sweat to show for it. The long spiral staircase didn't help either. Kyle takes one last inhale before answering the CEO's question.
"Well," Johnson starts, "I may have missed the final deadline. But I just landed us a huge blockbuster deal."
"Blockbuster? I kind of like that. Get ready for your big date night. Shave your face. Rent a movie. I can get behind that."
"Oh, I mean like a, you know, a big popcorn movie," Johnson corrected. "Steven Spielberg directing. And, get this, it's got dinosaurs."
"Prequel to Jaws?"
"No, brand new thing. Called Jurassic Park. They've got Jeff Goldblum starring, and --"
"Jeff Goldblum! Johnson, that's great! Let's get a shot of him shaving in the morning, shirt off, looking all cool, and A-list movie starry. Camera pans to the sink. Barbasol. I love it!"
"Well, we didn't get Jeff Goldblum, per se, but got someone from Seinfeld."
"Jerry Seinfeld!? Hey, that's even better! Have him do a lil stand-up bit. What's with the shaving cream? Is it foam or cream? Can I put it on a pumpkin pie?"
"Not Jerry..."
"George?"
"Nope."
"Kramer?"
"Nope."
"Elaine? Shaving her legs?"
"We got Newman."
"The mailman??"
"I know, I know, but I'm telling you, just being in this movie at all is a big deal. Everyone and their brother is gonna see this movie. And funny you mention the shaving cream/whipped cream bit. Newman puts some of our product on a slice of pie."
"Pumpkin?"
"Nope."
"Apple?"
"Nope. Cherry."
"Johnson..."
"The pie's not the point. We play a major role in the movie. Here, mind if I use the whiteboard?"
"Go for it."
"Alright, so, there are these dinosaur embryos."
"Ya lost me at dinosaur embryos."
"Hear me out. So, Newman's trying to steal the dinosaur embryos and make a bunch of money. He's got this super high-tech Barbasol can -- that's where we come in -- that hides the embryos and keeps them frozen at negative 196 degrees."
"Farenheit?"
"Celsius."
"Johnson, no one knows what Celsius means! I can't believe what I'm hearing. We went from a Super Bowl ad to, 'Hey, check out this can of Cool Whip; it's great for smuggling baby sharks.'"
"With all due respect, sir, do you think sharks are dinosaurs?"
"How else would you explain them?"
"This movie argues that dinosaurs are the original birds."
"Oh, well must be true if it's in Dino District?
"Jurassic Park."
"What?"
"Jurassic, you know what. It's not important. This was all such a terrible idea. I screwed up the Super Bowl ad. I screwed up the product placement. I can't do anything right. I'll put in my 2 weeks or give you a resignation letter, whatever you need. I'll be out of here by lunchtime."
"Son, there's no such thing as a bad idea. Look, I'm the one who should apologize."
The CEO looked out the window, down at his blue and red Maserati in the reserved parking spot.
"When you get that big circular office up here in the lid, there's an ego that comes with it," he said, his back still facing Kyle Johnson, "but I was just like you. I was a bottom-of-the-can guy, and I worked my way up. And I did it with big, bold ideas. Lemon lime? That was me. That one took guts, just like what you're doing right now. Well, kind of. I still don't really know what you're talking about. But here, come on. Finish your pitch."
Johnson looks at the ground.
"Come on," the CEO said, turning around. "Give yourself permission to fail."
"Okay, so, there's one more scene," Johnson starts. "This is our big moment. It's a getaway scene. The rain's coming down hard. Newman's out in the jungle."
"Alright! I dig it. Very intense. Very cinematic."
"Newman's in the Jeep. He's making a run for it but gets stuck in the mud. Gets out, falls down a hill, loses his glasses. He starts running and we see a little dinosaur scurry past in the trees. Newman's still trying to unlodge the truck, but now we see the dinosaur up close and personal. And Newman's totally screwed. He picks up a stick, tries to play fetch. Dino's not amused. Newman makes one final dash for the Jeep, but the dino starts shooting venom at him or some sort of dinosaur thing. We see the Barbasol can fall out of Newman's pocket, camera shows it rolling down the hill. Newman hops in the Jeep, closes the door, looks like he's safe, but guess who's right there in the passenger seat? Bam! Dinosaur attacks, kills Newman, and then Spielberg pans out to show our can, covered in mud."
Kyle, gaining some confidence now, puts his hands in the air as if displaying a retail sign.
"Barbasol."
The CEO sat in stunned silence.
"Yeah, let's cancel this right away. Call Samuel L. Jackson for a commercial."
"He's um, he's actually in Jurassic Park. But --"
"Please. Hold onto your buts. You know what, it's too late. Let's just do the movie and chalk the whole thing up to a learning experience. Besides, no one will remember that it was our can anyways. No harm, no foul. What matters, son, is you had an idea, pursued it, and gave it an honest shot. I bet your next idea will be your best idea. I guarantee it."
"Thanks, Pops. Hey, wanna grab lunch?"
"I'm still stuffed from breakfast. But I could go for a slice of pie."
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